Gen Z's Secret Step Backwards: Why Young Men are Suddenly Expecting Obedience from Women Again

You know that feeling? You're having a relaxing barbie with mates, the steaks are done, the Sauvignon Blanc is hitting the spot – and then the conversation turns to "kids these days." Back in the day, we used to get worked up about long hair or loud music. Now, it's more complicated. Way more complicated. Because just when we thought each new generation would automatically be more liberal, more tolerant, and more focused on equality, it turns out: On some issues, Generation Z is holding some surprisingly conservative views. Especially when it comes to the roles of men and women.

A Reality Check for Progressive Parents

A recent, widely discussed study from the UK has laid it out in black and white: Nearly a third of young men aged 16 to 29 think a wife should obey her husband. Not in some conservative religious sect, not in a developing nation – but across the ditch, in a country we often see as culturally progressive. I nearly spat out my flat white when I saw that figure. My folks, classic boomers, were horrified. They fought for self-determination back in the '70s, and now their grandkids are rolling their eyes at the mention of equality? It really makes you wonder: Have we been looking in the wrong direction all this time?

Mum's Boys and the Prince Effect

Of course, you immediately ask: How did it get to this? The answer might be closer than we think. I recently came across a comment from a British columnist that hit on something that's stuck with me. She said we mums (and dads) need to stop treating our sons like little princes. No joke. If we raise boys believing the world revolves around them, that they'll be waited on, that they're the strong heroes and girls are the pretty princesses, we shouldn't be surprised by the outcome. This Gen Z lot didn't just appear out of nowhere. They're our kids. And a chunk of them – admittedly, a pretty alarming chunk – seems to have gotten the message loud and clear: The man's in charge.

Protests Here, Rollback There – The Contradictions of a Generation

Here's the confusing part: This same generation, the one holding these old-fashioned views, is also the one striking for climate action on Fridays. The Gen Z protests against the far-right, against racism, for queer rights – they haven't disappeared. Quite the opposite. But maybe that's exactly the point. We can't make the mistake of painting the whole generation with the same brush. There isn't just one Gen Z. There are young feminists loudly fighting for change – and there are young men, searching for clear structure in an uncertain world. And that yearning for order can sometimes manifest in these pretty raw ideas. The cost of living crisis, housing struggles, climate change – it all creates insecurity. And when people feel insecure, some, unfortunately, fall back on what feels like tried and tested ground: the strong man, the obedient woman.

• The conservative core: About a third of young men are pining for a return to traditional roles.
• The progressive vanguard: At the same time, Gen Z is the most diverse and vocal generation when it comes to climate and social justice protests.
• The silent majority: Most are probably just confused, trying to find their own path between TikTok trends and a shaky future.

The "Gen Z Stare" and the New Bible

You know that look? That Gen Z stare you sometimes get from twenty-somethings? Like you're a walking fossil who's completely out of touch. I used to put it down to youthful arrogance. Now I wonder: Maybe they're partly right. Maybe we really don't get how their minds work. They have their own Gen Z Bible – except it's not bound in leather, it's made up of a thousand TikTok videos, Instagram Reels, and Discord chats. Their rules, their morals, their understanding of respect – it's all being completely redefined. We shouldn't ignore the fact that some ancient patterns are resurfacing in the process. But we shouldn't just demonise it either. We need to understand it.

What Does This Mean for New Zealand?

Here in Aotearoa, where the traditional family model can still be pretty deeply ingrained, this development could get particularly interesting. Will Generation Z manage to pull off this step backwards? Or will the loud protests from the other half end up setting the tone? I'm keen to see. And I'm looking forward to the next barbie conversation. Because one thing's for sure: life won't be boring with this generation. They're as contradictory and complex as the times we live in. And we should be paying close attention – even if that Gen Z stare stings a bit sometimes.