Gen Z and the quiet about-face: Why young men are suddenly expecting obedience from women again

Know the feeling? You're sitting comfortably at a wine tavern, the schnitzel is gone, the Grüner Veltliner is hitting the spot – and then the conversation turns to young people. Back in the day, we used to get worked up about long hair or loud music. Today, it's more complicated. A lot more complicated. Because just when we thought each new generation would automatically be more liberal, more tolerant, more equal, it turns out: On some points, Generation Z holds shockingly conservative views. Especially when it comes to the roles of men and women.

The shock for Boomer parents

Recent, widely discussed research from the UK has confirmed it in black and white: Nearly a third of young men aged 16 to 29 think a wife should obey her husband. Not in conservative religious sects, not in some developing country – but among our neighbours, in a country we often culturally perceive as progressive. I nearly spat out my coffee when I saw that figure. My parents, textbook Boomers, were horrified. They fought for self-determination back in the 70s, and now their grandchildren are rolling their eyes at the mention of equality? It really makes you wonder: Have we been looking in the wrong direction all this time?

Mama's boys and the prince effect

Of course, you immediately wonder: How did it come to this? The answer might be closer than we think. I recently came across a comment from a British columnist that hit on something I can't shake. She said we mothers (and fathers) should finally stop treating our sons like little princes. No joke. If we teach boys from a young age that the world belongs to them, that they should be served, that they're the strong heroes and girls are the pretty princesses, then we shouldn't be surprised by the outcome later on. This Gen Z didn't just appear out of thin air. They're our children. And a portion of them – admittedly, a frighteningly large portion – clearly got the message: The man is in charge.

Protests here, rollback there – the contradictions of a generation

Here's the confusing part: This same generation that holds such outdated views is also the one taking to the streets for climate action on Fridays. The Gen Z protests against the far right, against racism, for queer rights – they haven't died out. Quite the opposite. But maybe that's precisely the point. We mustn't make the mistake of lumping the whole generation together. There isn't one Gen Z. There are young feminists fighting loudly for change – and there are young men longing for clear structures in an uncertain world. And this longing for order can unfortunately manifest itself in such crude ideas. The economic situation, the housing crisis, climate change – all of this creates insecurity. And when people feel insecure, some unfortunately fall back on what they see as tried and tested: the strong man, the obedient woman.

• The conservative core: About a third of young men want traditional gender roles back.
• The progressive vanguard: At the same time, Gen Z is the most diverse and loudest generation in climate and social protests.
• The silent middle: The majority are probably just confused, trying to find their own way between TikTok trends and an uncertain future.

The 'Gen Z Stare' and the new bible

You know that look? That Gen Z stare that twenty-somethings sometimes give you? Like you're a walking fossil who understands nothing about the world. I used to put it down to youthful arrogance. Now I wonder: Maybe they're partly right. Maybe we really don't understand how their minds work. They have their own Gen Z Bible – except it's not bound in leather, but made up of a thousand TikTok videos, Instagram Reels, and Discord chats. Their rules, their morality, their understanding of respect – all of it is being completely redefined right now. We shouldn't ignore that sometimes ancient patterns re-emerge in this process. But we shouldn't simply demonise it either. We should try to understand it.

What does this mean for Ireland?

Here in Ireland, where the traditional image of the family is often still deeply rooted, this development could be particularly interesting. Will Generation Z succeed in this rollback? Or will the loud protests from the other half ultimately set the tone? I'm curious to see. And I'm curious about the next pub conversation. Because one thing's for sure: life won't be boring with this generation. They're as contradictory and multi-layered as our times. And we should pay close attention – even if that Gen Z stare sometimes stings a bit.