Trump, the Giant Rabbit and That Special “Courier”: Easter Madness at the White House

If you opened a national paper this morning and wondered if your espresso was too strong, don't worry: it wasn't you. That really was Donald Trump standing next to a two-metre-tall rabbit, explaining to journalists the importance of rescuing a pilot. The kind of thing that makes you need a double ristretto with sugar and a dash of hallucination.

Yesterday, during the annual Easter Egg Roll – the traditional Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn – the tycoon gifted America a scene that even the best Hollywood screenwriters wouldn't have dared to write. Beside him, motionless and impassive, a giant white rabbit (official costume, not a relative of Bugs Bunny) stood as a silent sidekick. And Trump talked. He talked about Iran, about capable fighters, about a pilot rescued from who knows where. Meanwhile, the rabbit listened. Or maybe it was looking for an egg to nibble.

A very special courier

Let's be honest: foreign policy isn't something you comment on next to a stuffed lagomorph. But by now we know that with the former – and maybe future – resident of the White House, every rule goes out the window. The real courier of this news, however, isn't him. It's us, coffee in hand and eyes wide open in front of the screen. As any good sports journalist would write: "A match played on a minefield, the rabbit as referee, the outcome hanging between the ridiculous and the surreal."

And while Melania, beside him, tried to keep her first lady smile (a near-impossible mission), Trump pulled another one of his: "Iran has capable fighters," he said, "but no one can jump like this rabbit." Word for word. Not a single journalist present batted an eyelid. They were probably all too busy wondering if the rabbit had a secret plan for peace in the Middle East.

• The rabbit never spoke. Not even when Trump asked it to nod. Dead silence. Many took it as a sign of disapproval.
• Coloured eggs rolled on the ground while the president explained the details of the pilot's rescue. No children picked them up. They were all hypnotised by the lagomorph.
• Melania sighed at least three times. The fourth came when Trump compared the rabbit to a "courier of hope". At that point, even the press stopped taking notes.

Between eggs, pilots and pub-talk statements

The highlight? When someone asked the rabbit if it planned to run in the next primaries. The furry beast turned its head towards Trump. Silence. Then it slowly raised a paw and pointed to the White House door. The crowd laughed. Trump didn't. Maybe he was actually thinking about it.

Thankfully, there's the courier – the real one, the one that tells you about the world every morning without stuffed animals or theatrics – to remind us that sometimes reality surpasses satire. If you want advice from someone who makes a living with words: have a nice espresso, read the article in the evening paper, then take a walk. The rabbit, they swear, has already been taken apart and stored away. At least until Halloween.

Oh, I almost forgot: the rescued pilot is fine. He thanked the rabbit. Or maybe it was just the wind. With this administration, you never know.