Trump, the giant rabbit, and that special “courier”: the White House’s Easter madness
If you opened a national paper this morning and wondered if your espresso was way too strong, relax: it wasn't you. That really was Donald Trump standing next to a two-metre-tall rabbit, explaining to journalists the importance of a pilot rescue. The kind of thing that calls for a double shot, short black, with sugar and a pinch of hallucination.
Yesterday, during the annual Easter Egg Roll – the traditional Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn – the tycoon gifted America one of those scenes even the best Hollywood scriptwriters wouldn't have dared to write. Next to him, motionless and deadpan, a giant white rabbit (official costume, not a relative of Bugs Bunny) played the silent sidekick. And Trump talked. He talked about Iran, about capable fighters, about a pilot rescued from who knows where. The rabbit, meanwhile, listened. Or maybe it was just looking for an egg to bite.
A very special courier
Let's be honest: foreign policy isn't something you comment on next to a plush lagomorph. But by now we know that with the former – and possibly future – resident of the White House, every rule goes out the window. The real courier of this news, though, isn't him. It's us, coffee in hand, eyes wide open in front of the screen. As any good sports journalist would write: "Game played on a minefield, referee is the rabbit, scoreline hovering somewhere between ridiculous and surreal."
And while Melania, standing beside him, tried to keep her first lady smile intact (mission nearly impossible), Trump slipped in another classic: "Iran has capable fighters," he said, "but no one can jump like this rabbit." Word for word. Not a single journalist present batted an eyelid. They were probably all too busy wondering if the rabbit had a secret plan for peace in the Middle East.
- The rabbit never spoke. Not even when Trump asked it to nod. Silence as deep as a grave. Many took that as a sign of disapproval.
- Coloured eggs rolled on the grass while the president explained the details of the pilot rescue. No kids were picking them up. They were all mesmerised by the lagomorph.
- Melania sighed at least three times. The fourth came when Trump compared the rabbit to a "courier of hope". At that point, even the press stopped taking notes.
Between eggs, pilots and pub-talk statements
The highlight? When someone asked the rabbit if it planned to run in the next primaries. The fluffy beast turned its head towards Trump. Silence. Then it slowly raised a paw and pointed to the White House door. The crowd laughed. Trump didn't. Maybe he was actually thinking about it.
Thankfully, there's the courier – the real one, the one that brings you the world every morning without plush toys or theatrical stunts – to remind us that sometimes reality beats satire. If you want advice from someone who makes a living with words: have a good espresso, read the article in the evening paper, then go for a walk. The rabbit, they swear, has already been dismantled and put back in storage. At least until Halloween.
Oh, and I almost forgot: the rescued pilot is doing fine. He thanked the rabbit. Or maybe it was just the wind. With this administration, you never know.