Trump, the Giant Rabbit and That Special 'Courier': The White House's Easter Absurdities
If you opened a national newspaper this morning and wondered if your espresso was too strong, don't worry: it wasn't you. It really was Donald Trump standing next to a six-foot-tall rabbit, explaining to journalists the importance of rescuing a pilot. The kind of moment that calls for a double ristretto with sugar and a pinch of hallucination.
Yesterday, during the annual Easter Egg Roll – the traditional egg hunt on the White House lawn – the tycoon treated America to one of those scenes that even Hollywood's best scriptwriters wouldn't have dared to write. Next to him, motionless and impassive, a giant white rabbit (official costume, not a relative of Bugs Bunny) played the silent sidekick. And Trump talked. He talked about Iran, about capable fighters, about a pilot rescued from who knows where. Meanwhile, the rabbit listened. Or perhaps looked for an egg to bite.
A very special courier
Let's face it: foreign policy is not something you discuss next to a stuffed lagomorph. But by now we know that with the former – and perhaps future – resident of the White House, all rules go out the window. The real courier of this news, however, isn't him. It's us, coffee in hand, eyes wide open in front of the screen. As any good sports journalist would put it: "A match played on a minefield, the rabbit as referee, the result hanging between the ridiculous and the surreal."
And while Melania, beside him, tried to maintain her first lady smile (a near-impossible mission), Trump pulled off another of his gems: "Iran has capable fighters," he said, "but no one can jump like this rabbit." Word for word. None of the journalists present batted an eyelid. They were probably all too busy wondering if the rabbit had a secret plan for peace in the Middle East.
- The rabbit never spoke. Not even when Trump asked it to nod. Dead silence. Many interpreted this as a gesture of disapproval.
- The colourful eggs rolled on the ground while the president explained the details of the pilot's rescue. No children picked them up. They were all hypnotised by the lagomorph.
- Melania sighed at least three times. The fourth came when Trump compared the rabbit to a "courier of hope". At that point, even the press stopped taking notes.
Between eggs, pilots and pub-talk declarations
The highlight? When someone asked the rabbit if it planned to run in the next primaries. The furry beast turned its head towards Trump. Silence. Then it slowly raised a paw and pointed to the White House door. The crowd laughed. Trump didn't. Maybe he was actually thinking about it.
Thank goodness for the courier – the real one, the one that tells you about the world every morning without any stuffed animals or theatrics – to remind us that sometimes reality surpasses satire. If you want advice from someone who makes a living with words: drink a nice espresso, read the article in the evening paper, then take a stroll. The rabbit, they swear, has already been dismantled and put back in a warehouse. At least until Halloween.
Oh, I almost forgot: the rescued pilot is fine. He thanked the rabbit. Or maybe it was just the wind. With this administration, you never know.