Husband confesses to Monheim femicide: He suffocated Fatma because she wanted a divorce

Hearing this sort of thing just hits you right in the guts. At the Düsseldorf Regional Court, a 43-year-old man from Monheim has confessed to killing his own wife. Fatma (38) wanted a divorce – and that's why he murdered her. He suffocated her with a pillow while she was asleep. Treacherous murder, says the public prosecutor's office. Another case of femicide, where a woman had to die simply because she was a woman and wanted to leave her partner.

They'd met years ago in Turkey, and Fatma moved to Germany for him. But what started as love eventually turned into a living nightmare. In the months leading up to the killing, things had completely fallen apart. Fatma wanted out, wanted to get away from him and start over. "She said many times that she was going to file for divorce," the accused told the court in a quiet voice. It seems that's what he just couldn't handle. Add to that constant arguments about money – their finances were in a mess. On the night it happened, they'd had another blow-up. When Fatma was asleep, he simply took the pillow and held it down until she suffocated.

Stories like this just turn your stomach. But sadly, this isn't an isolated case. Every year in Germany, hundreds of women are killed or brutally attacked by their husbands or ex-partners. Femicide is a worldwide problem that doesn't stop at any border. In Latin America, for instance, the term has long been part of everyday language because the numbers there are shockingly high. But it happens here too, behind closed doors – in the lounge room, the kitchen, the bedroom. The only difference is, we often still call it a "family tragedy" or a "domestic dispute." A complete understatement. A femicide isn't a tragedy; it's plain and simple murder.

The neighbours in Monheim are absolutely devastated. "Fatma was such a lovely woman, always said hello and smiled," says an older woman from next door. "We never heard a thing, never any shouting. You just can't get your head around it." And that's the insidious thing about crimes like this: they happen silently, behind closed doors. Fatma didn't confide in anyone, didn't seek help – maybe because she thought things would get better. Or maybe because she was ashamed. But her case shows: when a woman wants a divorce, it can be deadly. Statistically, the period around separation is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship.

What can we learn from this? Just shaking our heads isn't enough. As a society, we need to change our thinking and, more importantly, offer help. The experts keep telling us:

• Take early warning signs seriously: Controlling behaviour, jealousy, putting a woman down – these are often the first red flags for future violence.
• Expand support services for women: Women need to know where they can get quick, no-fuss help, without worrying about red tape or judgmental looks.
• Work with perpetrators too: We can only prevent future violence if men learn to deal with anger and conflict without resorting to violence.
• Better training for police and the justice system: Every domestic violence call-out must be treated as what it is: often the last warning sign before a femicide.

The trial of the 43-year-old isn't over yet. A psychiatric report is expected to shed light on his state of mind. But Fatma is dead. She couldn't get out. Her fate should be a wake-up call for all of us. Because as long as women in Germany have to be afraid when they want to leave a relationship, we as a society have failed. Femicide is not a private matter. It's a crime – and it concerns every single one of us.

If you need help: The national helpline "Violence against women" is available 24/7 on 116 016 and online at hilfetelefon.de. In an emergency, always call 000.